SantaCon 2013

Well hello folks,
This past Saturday the wife and I attended an event here in NYC titled, "SantaCon." It is a fundraiser where you dress up in full holiday costumes and walk around the city and drink. A pub crawl if you will. You also give $10 to charity, so I promise we were drinking for a cause. I was in a full body penguin suit and my wife was wearing a sexy Mrs. Claus outfit she won at a similar event a few years back. We started the day by heading through some heavy enough snow to some nightclub to get our stickers that said we paid the charity money. We were told they had "cheap" beer there so we decided to find the bar. Now I'm used to bar lines that are 6 people deep in some types of places. I don't like those kind of places because they are generally nightclubs and that's not my scene, but we were here at 11 a.m. so I figured it would not be terrible. It was worse than what I just described. They had 2 bartenders for probably 2000 people, so it was a shitshow. The bartender we were closest to was pushing elderly and looked like he was coming down off of a 40 year coke binge. He just could not handle the situation and was quite visibly flustered, spilling beers and yelling out loud at everything. After standing there being angry at this dude/feeling somewhat sorry for him for about 15 minutes, we looked up the next bar on the list.

We drank at the next bar for a while, and then the next area of town was announced. We jumped on a train and headed back into Brooklyn. We got off the train and were immediately lost due to the snow obscuring any signs. We finally found a bar (it was not on the official list) and had some beers. We were quite a few beers in at this point and decided to get some food. While we were eating some ShakeShack, we met two random girls that had no idea how to get to the last stop on the list. We got them to come with us. As we were walking into the last venue, two skeezy dudes came up and started talking to all three ladies, including my wife. I am not kidding, the first dude's initial line, to my wife, was, "Why are you hanging out with these losers?" She quickly informed him what she was married to me, and that he might be the loser. Then his Asian friend tried his luck with our new friends by trying to get them to go to some "afterparty." The girls answered his attempts with one word monosyllables. The douche canoe left swiftly afterwards.

We got inside the final venue, which was basically just a large warehouse with beers, foodtrucks, and a stage, and were surprised to find out that Andrew W.K. was the D.J. for the night. I didn't know he was a D.J. He then told us that he wasn't a D.J.and was just going to have a good time. Well alright. He spun some good tunes ranging from mid 90's techno to some new Juicy J to some old Motorhead. Not a bad mix. The party was over at 7:30, so we left at about 7 to beat the crowd on the train. We had to transfer trains, and at the transfer two guys dressed as a turkey and an elf asked us if we wanted some chicken. The elf then pulled out a huge box of Popeye's and demanded that I get down on it. He ate a piece to show me that he didn't fuck with it. I had a piece. As our train came he gave us an entire box of biscuits and the rest of the chicken. We headed home and feasted on some Popeye's. Not the craziest of days but a good one nonetheless.